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Baja Forums -:- VW Volkswagen Bug, Baja, Bus, Sandrail and Thing -:- VW Volkswagen & Baja Bug General Discussion -:- F-16 vs C-130 Funny Story
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F-16 vs C-130 Funny Story
Bug, Baja, Thing and Buggies. Most every thing that will not fit any any other area. See list of other Forums for better topic placement...Volkswagen General Discussion
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Preston
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Preston

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Joined: Nov 24, 2007
Posts: 1321
Location: Gilbert, Az
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Post Post subject: F-16 vs C-130 Funny Story
Posted: Mon Aug 25, 2008 05:59 AM
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THERE IS A MORAL HERE!A C-130 was lumbering along when a cocky F-16 flashed by.
The jet jockey decided to show off.



The fighter jock told the C-130 pilot, 'watch this!' and promptly
went into a barrel roll followed by a steep climb. He then finished
with a sonic boom as he broke the sound barrier. The F-16 pilot
asked the C-130 pilot what he thought of that?



The C-130 pilot said, 'That was impressive, but watch this!'
The C-130 droned along for about 5 minutes and then the C-130
pilot came back on and said: 'What did you think of that?'
Puzzled, the F-16 pilot asked, 'What the heck did you do?'
The C-130 pilot chuckled. 'I stood up, stretched my legs, walked
to the back, went to the bathroom,then got a cup of coffee and a
cinnamon bun.'

When you are young & foolish - speed & flash may seem a good thing !!!

When you get older & smarter - comfort & dull is not such a bad thing !!!


_________________
There goes another lug nut...
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My Bug: "SMOKEY" 1968 Baja, 1641 Dual Port
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My Hometown: Monroe, Wa
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planenutz
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planenutz

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Posts: 169
Location: central MN
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Post Post subject: Re: F-16 vs C-130 Funny Story
Posted: Tue Aug 26, 2008 08:20 AM
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Q: How do you know if there is an NAVY pilot at your party?
A: He'll tell you.

Q: What's the difference between an Air Force pilot and a jet engine?
A: A jet engine stops whining when the planes shuts down.

Q: How many NAVY pilots does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One...he just holds the bulb and the world revolves around him.

Q: How do you bury a fighter pilot?
A: You give him an enema and bury what’s left in a shoe box.

The Three Pilots
Three pilots are walking through the forest when they come upon a set of tracks.
The first pilot says, "Those are deer tracks."
The second pilot says, "No, those are elk tracks."
The third pilot says, "You're both wrong! Those are moose tracks."
The pilots were still arguing when the train hit them.

“My Wife . . . .”
A Navy Chief and an Air Force General were getting shave sin a barbershop. As the barbers were reaching for some after-shave to slap on their faces, the General shouts, "Hey, don't put that crap on me! My wife will think I've been in a whorehouse!" Whereupon the Chief turns to his barber and says, "Go ahead and put it on me, my wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like."


_________________
2 VW's and counting.. since 1978.. :oops:

"All right, brain. You don't like me and I don't like you, but let's just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer." Homer

"When the pin is pulled and the spoon is released, Mr. Grenade is no longer your friend."
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planenutz
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planenutz

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Posts: 169
Location: central MN
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Post Post subject: Re: F-16 vs C-130 Funny Story
Posted: Tue Aug 26, 2008 08:31 AM
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Not meaning to hijack the thread.... :o)

You May Be a Taliban, If ...
1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.
2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.
3. You have more wives than teeth.
4. You wipe your butt with your bare left hand, but consider bacon 'unclean.'
5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.
6. You can't think of anyone you HAVEN'T declared Jihad against.
7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.
8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.
9. You've often uttered the phrase, 'I love what you've done with your cave.'
10. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least one.
11. You bathe at least monthly whether necessary or not.
12. You've ever had a crush on your neighbor's goat.


_________________
2 VW's and counting.. since 1978.. :oops:

"All right, brain. You don't like me and I don't like you, but let's just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer." Homer

"When the pin is pulled and the spoon is released, Mr. Grenade is no longer your friend."
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planenutz
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planenutz

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Location: central MN
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Post Post subject: Re: F-16 vs C-130 Funny Story
Posted: Tue Aug 26, 2008 08:34 AM
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The Marine Corps Version of Genesis 1

In the beginning was the word, and the word was God.

In the beginning was God, and all else was darkness and void, and without form. So God created the heavens and the Earth. He created the sun, and the moon, and the stars, so that light might pierce the darkness. The Earth, God divided between the land and the sea, and these he filled with many assorted creatures.

And the dark, salty, slimy creatures that inhabited the murky depths of the oceans, God called sailors. And He dressed them accordingly. They had little trousers that looked like bells at the bottom. And their shirts had cute little flaps on them to hide the hickeys on their necks. He also gave them long sideburns and shabby looking beards. God nicknamed them "squids" and banished them to a lifetime at sea, so that normal folks would not have to associate with them. To further identify these unloved creatures, He called them "petty" and "commodore" instead of titles worthy of red-blooded men.

And the flaky creatures of the land, God called soldiers. And with a twinkle in His eye, and a sense of humor that only He could have, God made their trousers too short and their covers too large. He also made their pockets oversized, so that they may warm their hands. And to adorn their uniforms, God gave them badges in quantities that only a dime store owner could appreciate. And He gave them emblems and crests... and all sorts of shiny things that glittered...and devices that dangled. (When you are God you tend to get carried away.)

On the 6th day, He thought about creating some air creatures for which he designed a Greyhound bus driver's uniform, especially for Air Force flyboys. But He discarded the idea during the first week, and it was not until years later that some apostles resurrected this theme and established what we now know as the "Wild-Blue-Yonder Wonders."

And on the 7th day, as you know, God rested.

But on the 8th day, at 0730, God looked down upon the earth and was not happy. No, God was not happy! So He thought about His labors, and in His divine wisdom God created a divine creature. And this He called Marine. And these Marines, who God had created in His own image, were to be of the air, and of the land, and of the sea. And these He gave many wonderful uniforms. Some were green; some were blue with red trim. And in the early days, some were even a beautiful tan. He gave them practical fighting uniforms, so that they could wage war against the forces of Satan and evil. He gave them service uniforms for their daily work and training. And He gave them evening and dress uniforms... sharp and stylish, handsome things... so that they might promenade with their ladies on Saturday night and impress the hell out of everybody! He even gave them swords, so that people who were not impressed could be dealt with accordingly. And at the end of the 8th day, God looked down upon the earth and saw that it was good. But was God happy? No! God was still not happy! Because in the course of His labors, He had forgotten one thing: He did not have a Marine uniform for himself. He thought about it, and thought about it, and finally God satisfied Himself in knowing that, well... not everybody can be a Marine!


_________________
2 VW's and counting.. since 1978.. :oops:

"All right, brain. You don't like me and I don't like you, but let's just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer." Homer

"When the pin is pulled and the spoon is released, Mr. Grenade is no longer your friend."
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planenutz
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planenutz

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Location: central MN
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Post Post subject: Re: F-16 vs C-130 Funny Story
Posted: Tue Aug 26, 2008 08:43 AM
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OK, I'm bored! lol

Military rules, by Service

Marine Corps Rules:
1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
2. Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough.
3. Have a plan.
4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work.
5. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet ­ even your friends…
6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start with a "4."
7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.
8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral & diagonal preferred.)
9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.
10. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.
11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
12. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived.
13. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating your intention to shoot.


Navy SEAL's Rules:
1. Look very cool in sunglasses.
2. Kill every living thing within view.
3. Adjust speedo.
4. Check hair in mirror.


US Army Rangers Rules:
1. Walk in 50 miles wearing 75 pound rucksack while starving.
2. Locate individuals requiring killing.
3. Request permission via radio from "Higher" to perform killing.
4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted.
5. Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75 pound rucksack while starving.


US Army Rules:
1. Curse bitterly when receiving operational order.
2. Make sure there is extra ammo and extra coffee.
3. Curse bitterly.
4. Curse bitterly.
5. Do not listen to 2nd LT's; it can get you killed.
6. Curse bitterly.


US Air Force Rules:
1. Have a cocktail.
2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner.
3. See what's on HBO.
4. Ask "what is a gunfight?"
5. Request more funding from Congress with a "killer" Power Point presentation.
6. Wine & dine 'key' Congressmen, invite DOD & defense industry executives.
7. Receive funding, set up new command and assemble assets.
8. Declare the assets "strategic" and never deploy them operationally.
9. Hurry to make 13:45 tee-time.
10. Make sure the base is as far as possible from the conflict but close enough to have tax exemption.


US Navy Rules:
1. Go to Sea.
2. Drink Coffee.
3. Deploy Marines


_________________
2 VW's and counting.. since 1978.. :oops:

"All right, brain. You don't like me and I don't like you, but let's just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer." Homer

"When the pin is pulled and the spoon is released, Mr. Grenade is no longer your friend."
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Leatherneck
Staff SGT.
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Leatherneck

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Joined: Dec 07, 2007
Posts: 744
Location: Mohave Valley, Az.
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Post Post subject: Re: F-16 vs C-130 Funny Story
Posted: Wed Aug 27, 2008 06:29 PM
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Hahahaha, great thread!


_________________
It is time for a change, lets all make the USA better then it was the day before.
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